"Drop the attitude"

Well, I got the work done that I had to do, sent my lawyer a long letter and getting the summons sorted out.

Let me tell you a little story:

When we moved to SA from London two and a half years ago, we decided to just buy one car between the two of us as STBEH would be travelling to the UK for long periods of time and since I was pregnant and not working, we managed absolutely fine with just the one car.

Once I'd started working it was still not a major problem as we'd manage to do things somehow and if he needed the car in the day, I'd catch a lift to work with a colleague and then STBEH went away to London again for three and a half months.

So, when he came back to deal with the divorce, I suggested that we sell the car and buy two smaller/cheaper cars instead. This he fought about to the end of the world! He simply refused to sell the car and said we should rather just buy a cheap runaround for local trips.

Now, the reality is that the car is registered in my name and used to be my dad's car. He sold it to us at a very good price as he was about to upgrade. We paid cash for a beautiful BMW 525i.

I even went so far as to have it put in writing by my lawyer that we should sell the car and split the cash, but he never wanted to do it and forbade me to sell the car. For some reason, I ,yet again, obliged.

This morning, however, he tells me that he thinks it's a good idea to sell the car!! The thing is that over the weekend, I'd decided that I wasn't going to sell the car and I wasn't going to give him the 50% split value either. It's MY car after all.

So, I would like to post a question to you readers, do you think I should be NICE, sell the car and give him 50% or should I just keep what's mine and let him deal with it??

It's exactly the same as the whole marriage situation. For a year I tried talking to him, tried to work at the marriage and make an effort only to be ignored. Now that I'm serious, he's trying to pull all the stops out to try and make things work, but it's too late.

The same with the car. For two and a half months I tried to convince him to sell the car and split the income, but still he refused. Now that he's starting to see the light, he's pushing to get it sold, however now I'm not sure I want to do that anymore.

Oh yes, and I'm being lectured about my attitude! Just because I'm angry and frustrated he's trying to tell me to "Calm down". At no point since I've been back have I shouted, sworn or kicked up a fuss, especially not in front of the kids. I would speak to him, but am hardly going to be kind and warm. Why should I???

So, after telling me about six times to "drop the attitude", I warned him that if he said anything about my attitude again, the conversation was over. Needless to say, about two sentences later, the word 'attitude' came up and I left the room.

I'm not interested in anything he has to say anymore. It's all a load of bullshit anyway, merely designed to stall things. I'm not falling for it any longer.

On a funny, or perhaps I shall call it a 'cringe-worthy' note, I went to a Pilates class this morning at the gym and there was a woman with a proper 80's style thong leotard on!!! I almost burst out laughing and couldn't believe my eyes.

I tried to find something similar looking on Google images, but it must still be one she got off her mom from the 80's because even Google refuses to rape our sensitive eyes with that kind of imagery. Oh, and did I mention it was a zebra print?!

The pain!!

Madge