It is indeed a sad state of affairs the day you realise that the person you once loved so dearly, doted over and would undoubtedly give your life for, has let you down so much that you can hardly even look at them without feeling an immense sense of contempt.
Until fairly recently I still often had emotions of sadness for the pain he was experiencing. I genuinely felt sorry for having to put him through the ordeal of getting divorced as I knew he didn't want it, but I also knew that I simply HAD to.
However, recently I've been realising more and more that I would've been the biggest fool to myself and my kids if I hadn't made this decision.
Today I am convinced that the REAL reason why STBEH doesn't want to get divorced isn't because he loves me soooooo much or because he doesn't want to break up the family. The underlying reason for his desperate behaviour stems simply from him not wanting to give up his lifestyle.
He's got the big house on a golf estate, he's got the attractive wife on his arm and caters to his every whim, the two beautiful kids who charm everyone. Soon, most of it will no longer be his and THIS is what hurts him most. This is the reason why he's been so determined to fight for everything - not because he loves me so much and thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread or because he doesn't want to break up the family.
Isn't it a sad state of affairs when you look at someone who you once loved and now realise that all you feel for them starts with another l.......
Madge
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Oh my word madge I think you have totallt hit the nail on the head. It is as if you took the story of my life and wrote it here.
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