Food and Wine Fun!

And boy, when I say fun, I mean it! I had a fabulous day with my Mom at the Good Food and Wine show on Friday at the CTICC. As ever, the show proved to be a great success with many scrummy food stalls along with loads of great wine stands.

There are a few particular stalls that stood out and I'd like to do a special shout-out to them. Firstly, a big shout-out to Morgan's Wines, who are my favorite wine merchants based in Tyger Valley. Lars and Francois are always ready for a good chat and to share a nice glass of vino collapso!

For lunch, I treated mom to some divine sushi prepared by the excellent chefs from Saul's (Sushi @ Vegas) and I even had the pleasure of meeting Saul himself!

Beautiful! I had the California roll (Salmon and Crab with Avo) and Mom went for the Tuna and Avo.

Then just to top things off, I tasted the most gorgeous White Chocolate Grappa (which is more like a liquer) and was totally blown away by this amazingly delectable treat, that I simply HAD to buy a bottle. It really tastes like white chocolate in a glass, but with a kick! Bonus!

If you're interested in obtaining your very own, then check out Profumi D'Italia. They have a host of distributors throughout the Western Cape and South Africa.

By this time, Mom and I were both fairly sozzled when we came across this packet:

When looking at it quickly, you would ask: "Yeah, so what's so good about this?" But read the packet, no, I mean, really READ it! "...With a Creamy Head..."?!? Well, we were in absolute hysterics over this. Fine, it might not seem quite so funny when you're reading this at your desk all sober and straight, but I'll tell you, it was hilarious at the time!

Madge x

Attracting sh*t

I thought I'd get on here early this morning as I'm off for the day and taking my Mom to the Good Food & Wine show at the CTICC today. When I told Mom I was taking her I thought she was going to wet herself as she's a real foodie. Whenever she comes to visit she always watches the BBC food channel (she doesn't have DSTV).

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it as it's usually a great day out with lots of great nibbles and let's not forget the fabulous wine aplenty. Yummy yum-yum! And with the weather the way it is today you certainly want to stay very much indoors.

On a very different note, last night something yet again caught my attention - for once not at my cost. I've often been accused of being harsh on friendships, because I tend to cut people out of my life with great ease if I feel that they don't deserve my friendship. However, this leaves me with a very select group of people in my life who not only enrich me but are also people who's lives I can have a positive effect on in my own little way.

I have this belief that you only need a handful of close friends, the rest are mainly acquaintances, however that handful of special friends are people I would go to the end of the earth for and I know they would do the same.

I also believe that if you mix with shit, you'll attract shit in more ways than one...

So, I'll simply leave you with this thought: If you have a 'friend' in your life who only tends to bring negativity into your life, who never calls or makes any effort whatsoever or constantly has an issue of one sort or another, don't make a fool of yourself and stick with the friendship. There are many other people out there who would love a loyal friendship, so kick the 'shit' out of your life.

And, if you're the friend who is too self-important to pick up the phone or make an effort, you can look forward to a long and lonely life.

Madge

To Brazillian or not?

OK, I'm opening myself up here for what might end up as quite an interesting post, but one that I reckon could be very entertaining for all of us, so here goes...

For those of you who STILL don't know what a Brazillian/Hollywood is, it's having your pubic hair waxed either leaving a little landing strip on the pubic bone or all off (and I mean EVERYTHING).

In the UK and US it's such a standard thing to have done, in fact you're considered to be quite abnormal if you prefer to keep things somewhat more unkempt, however apparently here in good ol' SA ladies are somewhat more behind the times and dare I say 'prudish' when it comes to this.

Why is that? I think that South African ladies in general are very open minded and it may be that the Brazillian ratio from Jo'burg to the rest of the country is somewhat skewed, but I have to say that I simply wouldn't have it any other way!

The one thing I would say is that you should do it for yourself and not for a husband/boyfriend/girlfriend, but I've always said it's one of those things that you do once and never look back for various reasons.

Not only does it leave you feeling cleaner and smoother and more hygienic, it has benefits too, which I'm sure I don't need to spell out...

I would love to find out what your thoughts are on this, so please feel free to comment and share them (you can do it anonymously). Maybe I should make this a mission of mine, to liberate women from unwanted pubes forever!! OK, maybe it's not exactly the same as attempting to cure HIV, but I reckon it's a worthwhile cause none-the-less.

Madge x

PS: Oh yeah, and shaving doesn't count, because it leaves you with the 'velcro-effect' iykwim...

Comic relief

I got sent this by The Poker Pro and simply had to share it, because it really made me chuckle:

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
F*cking funny!

Madge x

Shoes relieve stress

Well, that's what I'll keep telling myself and don't even think of trying to tell me any different!

After Prince Charming told me that his trainers hurt him at school, I decided to briefly pop out this morning to get him some new ones, but while browsing, my eyes were instantly drawn to a very delicious looking pair of heels.

I'm a tall girl at 5'10" (1.76), so I am quite comfy wearing flats and don't have any height issues, but nothing beats a sexy pair of heels, especially if I don't have any in that particular colour - well, now I do:

Now I just need to find an occasion to wear them to. I have a beautiful silk top that would go nicely with these...

Madge x

Looking good, feeling so-so

Well, I say so-so, at least I'm feeling a lot better than I did yesterday, but the stress levels at Wisteria Lane are running rather high.

STBEH (that's Soon-To-Be-Ex-Husband for those who don't want to read all the way back) has been trying desperately to get onto my Mac for some reason, which I can only put down to wanting to go into my email or internet history or whatever. He's being quite relentless in his attempts and it's getting a bit tiring to get to it every time and see he's clicked the 'Password Prompt' button yet again.

Funny thing is that yesterday I briefly stepped away from the Mac to put Miss Muffet to sleep and lo-and-behold, who was standing behind it reading a Skype chat to my friend in Dubai?! Yes, you guessed it! Admittedly, the chat was rather interesting and, let's say, colourful, but after this, the atmosphere changed again from liveable to downright unpleasant.

I know it is difficult for him to deal with this. And to be honest, it's very difficult seeing him fall apart practically in front of my eyes, although I'm not sure exactly how much of it is manipulation, but it's really starting to take its toll on me too - and I have a suspicion that Prince Charming is being somewhat affected by it.

I didn't tell you the story of when STBEH thought that Prince Charming (PC) was blissfully watching a movie in the bedroom a couple of Friday nights ago. He was angry because I'd been to see my lawyer and started a MAJOR shouting session with me (he shouted, I just sat and stared). Next thing PC came out of the bedroom, straddles me and puts his little hands over my eyes saying: "It's ok mommy, I'm hiding you, daddy can't see you, daddy can't shout at you." Every time STBEH started to raise his voice at me again, PC would just put his hands back on my eyes and hide me.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! If that doesn't get you, nothing will. So, STBEH tried, in vain, to get PC to either go back and watch his movie or go to bed, so he could resume his shouting session, but PC absolutely refused. He simply wouldn't move off me and kept kissing me and holding my face. Now, do you want to tell me that it's not affecting him?? I beg to differ.

Anyway, back to today, I had my hair done and neatly trimmed this morning and I feel great again. It's amazing how much better it can make you feel. I'm hoping to get to the gym a little later on, although am concerned that getting all sweaty is going to ruin my neatly dried hair. Why is it that I can NEVER dry my hair as nicely as they do at the salon???? Very annoying!

Madge

Sunday night shenanigans

Good morning all, or shall I say brrrrr...

It certainly is a dark and miserable day today here in Cape Town and add to that my slightly fragile state after a fun evening out, the warm bed with it's cozy down duvet and electric blanket seems rather alluring.

Yesterday was quite good actually. Took the kids swimming at the gym and chilled out in the afternoon before meeting up with some colleagues at Caprice for a few bevvies. One colleague though seemed to be on quite a mission and proceeded to order a number of tequilas and when we all declined yet another round of the desert plant drink, he decided to order a bottle (yes, a whole one) of Apple Sours.

Problem is this stuff is so easy to drink and tastes just like those apple flavour lollipops you get with the sherbit in the centre and they tend to go down rather well...

And before we knew it, it was gone...

Oh dear. Anyway, I've been waking up most mornings with a stress-related headache, so to wake up with a booze related one makes a nice change and somehow I don't mind it as much because it's all in the name of fun.

Have a good week and wrap up warm.

Madge

Being suspicious

Maybe one of the big mistakes I've made throughout my life is trusting people. Over and above the fact that I wear my hart on my sleeve, I'm still very old school in my beliefs and for some reason can't learn to be a lot more weary of people.

However, when you end up being double crossed and f*cked over by someone you've known for a long time and genuinely thought you could trust it really hits you hard. Here I'm talking about STBEH and his latest antics from this week. I must admit, I'm still reeling at this whole event and now I've become very suspicious of many people.

It would seem that I have all of a sudden got a new secret admirer who somehow got hold of my cellphone number and has started to send me text messages, but who refuses to tell me who he is and where he knows me from. Apparently I gave him my number at a 'kuierplek'. Now, my chomma, I don't go to that many 'kuierplekke' and even less do I give out my number...

I must say, this is all just a bit too suspect, so I'm going to assume that it is a setup. What's getting me is that I'm feeling so insecure now about anything I say or do because I don't know whether there's an ulterior motive and to be honest, I've really seen another side to STBEH and what he's capable of and don't think I can put anything past him any more. It has had a major impact on the atmosphere here at Wisteria Lane and one that was totally unneccesary, but actually still stunned me considering these are the actions of someone who's trying to win me back. Not quite adding up, if I must say.

Anyway, it's STBEH's birthday today and I've been nice, so despite it all (maybe stupidly) I'm trying to be the bigger person. He's taken Prince Charming to the movies, so I have some free time while Miss Muffet is sleeping.

Enjoy your chilly Saturday!
Madge x

Golf day fun

Yesterday I helped The Fiery One out on her company's annual Golf Day, which is in fact a countrywide tournament with the 3 winners of each leg going through to the final weekend at Sun City in August sometime.

I helped out last year and when she asked me to join in again this year I simply couldn't refuse! Set in the gorgeous Boschenmeer Golf Estate, the weather, though threatening at first, turned out to be absolutely divine and once the registration was taken care of, we got into our golf carts and tore the course apart trying to get to all of the players with 'liquid refreshment' in the form of Jaegermeister, Sambuca, Springbokkies, Sours and Schnapps.

We had several comments that the players' games tightened up beautifully after our little visits, although there were one or two who blamed us for everything falling apart.

Trick is that we were expected to have a shot every time, which did eventually start to catch up with us, but on a positive note, I drove this time, which meant that we didn't get into trouble with the green keeper like last year for driving over his greens... Ahem...

I'm almost convinced to give the game of golf a go now, although I've always had the opinion that golf ruins a good walk... Apparently it is very therapeutic and challenging as you're playing against yourself. I suppose you've got to give something a go before totally writing it off, so if any of you are good golf instructors, let me know!

So a fun day was had by all and after all that I had to return to reality. Tomorrow it is STBEH's birthday and I have no idea what he wants to do for the day, but I'm popping out shortly to pick up a little something from the kids for daddy.

Hope you all have nice weekends and that I don't have too much drama for my weekend, although I'm not banking on anything.

Enjoy!
Madge

And the plot thickens...

OK, so until now I've really not consciously slagged STBEH off, but today he's really f*cking done it! (And if you're reading this, then bloody great too, because now I can't care any less!)

Turns out STBEH and his new best friend, a neighbor, who has over-night become a 'close friend of the family', are sniffing around Gambling HQ to find out whether I've been having an affair with someone there. Fortunately someone informed me of this and I've since confronted him about it, but of course, he's all defensive saying that he's merely worried about his family and what's going on.

The thing is this: Even if I did have an affair, what difference would it make. The reality is that now I'm just on a mission, because I now might as well go ahead and do the deed, since either way I'm getting shit about it! Thing is, it might even help me out, because he left his first wife due to her fooling around, so it could well just help him get over me quicker. Reality is, I've got absolutely NOTHING to lose if I do, not even my integrity, because I've already started divorce proceedings and am in my own mind merely still married on paper.

As for the new best friend of his, it's perhaps a good idea if he just focuses his energies on his own wife who is much more deserving. Mind your own business and stay out of mine. Oh yes, and next time you decide to play Private Investigator, do remember to give a false name for a start and secondly, make sure you have accurate info.

Going to be out all day tomorrow for a golf day, so probably won't post, but in the meantime, take care and enjoy the sunshine!

Madge

Courtesy cars

Today was absolutely manic doing all kinds. I've had meetings and more meetings and even managed to get to the gym at 5pm, which is really impressive. The fact that I can hardly stand on my two feet now is not surprising after all that, but overall, it's been a good day.

On top of this, I'm in a really crappy and worn out City (Shitty) Golf. I think I mentioned in the previous post that my car has had to go in to have some final repairs done. It's pretty amazing how grateful you become for what you have when you're in something that's not quite so nice. Mind you, I say that lightly, it's a f*cking HUGE difference to go from a 2.5l German sedan to this 1.2L, no radio, the doors don't even lock (they hardly even bloody open) and the driver's seat rocks back and forth... I can continue, but it will take up way too much of your precious time. I think I've made my point though.

Hopefully I'll be getting my car back tomorrow and will be sure to kiss and stroke it and tell it exactly how much I love it!

Anyway, on a positive note, while driving in "The Ferrari", I've had to resort to listening to MP3's I've downloaded onto my phone and one of my latest favorites is the Ciara feat Justin Timberlake song, 'Love, Sex and Magic'. I've never been the biggest JT fan out there. Personally I don't really rate him, but some of his music is pretty hot and it doesn't get hotter than this. Check out the music video below for some smokin' sexy action:

Hot, hot, hot, baby!!!

So, on that high note, I say good night.

Madge x

Definitely, Maybe

Last night I was so sad. I watched a film called Definitely, Maybe in which a man tells his young daughter the story of his past experiences with love, including her mother and two other women (see trailer below).

There were 2 things that got me about this. While the dad is in the process of getting divorced from the girl's mother, he very poignantly tells her that the story had a happy ending - that happy ending being the little girl.

I know that I am so blessed to have two beautiful, perfect and bright children and they will always be my happy ending.

The other thing that got me was how sad I am about all of this. The day I said, "I do", I truly believed that I wanted to be with this person for the rest of my life. There were so many happy times and I loved him so very deeply.

Getting divorced is definitely not how I envisaged my story to end and it has broken my heart. Over the last year, slowly, but surely we've drifted apart and over time my love faded away until one day it finally vanished as if in a puff of smoke when harsh words were spoken.

There are no winners when it comes to divorce (other than lawyers, that is). And no matter what, it's not nice, but now again, I'll have to dry my tears and continue with the process which I never wanted, but now truly believe is the only way forward.

Madge

Tired and drained but fun was had

Indeed, a lot of fun. I had a beautiful Sunday lunch at The Fiery One's place today of lamb shanks, luvvely wine and good company.

Saturday was the perfect day to go out for The Artist's birthday drinks. We merely watched the rain pound down at our very quaint venue Ons Huisie in Blouberg. Well, I say we watched the pouring rain, when in fact we were having several Tequilas and numerous laughs - just what I needed!

The atmosphere at Wisteria Lane has been rather uncomfortable after my visit to the lawyer, but then again, that's to be expected, I suppose. At the end of the day, I'm getting divorced and with that comes a lawyer, so it should be expected, but, of course, all the guilt trips were offered as if in one of those fancy, glossy travel brochures you get at Flight Centre. At this rate I'll be travelling around the world in a lot less than 80 days!

Ooooh, I have a question for you: Have I been slagging off STBEH or saying nasty things about him on here? Personally, the way I see it is that I've merely been giving a fair opinion on my emotions and explaining how I feel about certain situations, however according to him, I've been very nasty.

It certainly isn't my intention, however the reality is that this is my personal blog, which is ultimately MY therapy and emotional outlet. I'm even using pseudonyms in order to protect people's identities. So if it's too much to deal with then please don't read it. And I really don't mean this in a nasty way, but I'm not seeing a shrink, so while you may think this whole ordeal is easy for me, it isn't and this is how I'm dealing with it.

Anyway now I've got that off my chest, this week is sure to be a busy one. I'm taking my car in to the panel beaters tomorrow morning to fix the last few (mainly electrical) faults that have been lingering ever since a very annoying accident in February. My outside temperature gauge reads a constant -40 degrees. Now, I know it's been slightly chillier of late, but not quite THAT cold! And a couple of other little things, like squealing brakes, etc.

Chat later
Madge xx

PS: Oh yes, and I have to try and get to the gym sometime...

Storms ahead

In more ways than one, I reckon! For one, there has been a severe weather warning for the Cape This weekend. Apparently, if they've got it right, we're in for gale force winds and seriously heavy rain. Lovely. Pity I don't have a telly in my room any more. I've PVR'd some nice movies recently, so could in essence snuggle up to them. Instead, it'll have to be the porn couch.

Oh, let me quickly fill you in on the story of the porn couch: When STBEH and I moved to South Africa from London about 2 and a half years ago, we had to buy in some new furniture to fill up our lovely new home, so since he was still working back in London, I pretty much had carte blanche on the interior design, so I was on a mission. Lo and behold, I saw it. A beautiful leather corner unit that would be absolutely perfect for the space intended.

Immediately I called him and told him that I'd seen what I wanted and the price and I got the go-ahead. I asked him whether he had a colour preference, but his only comment to that was, "I don't mind which colour you choose, as long as it's NOT white". Needless to say, I have a beautiful WHITE leather corner unit standing in my living room...

Well, it simply had to be white. Any other colour would've looked bland and boring. In my defence, it turns out he actually really likes the white and since it's leather any kiddy vomit or sticky chocolate hands simply wipes off easily. It has however been dubbed the 'porn couch' by some neighbors who thought that the day-bed part of it was ideal for watching porn on. I simply cannot comment on that.

Anyway, the sequel to the storm is that I'm seeing my lawyer this afternoon. I told STBEH this morning and he was visibly upset asking why I felt the need to break up a family. Thing is, it's not so much the need to break up a family as the need to be happy and ultimately if I'm happy, my kids will be happy too, so, wish me luck in my discussion this afternoon.

I hope you all have a great weekend and keep warm. Let's hope there's not too much devastation of our informal settlements as there always seems to be when big storms ransack them.

Madge x

I've joined the gym

Right, for some reason I was overcome by the urge to join the gym... This might be for stress relief purposes (very relevant), for the purpose of avoiding home and also to keep in shape. Thanks to my Discovery Vitality membership I got to sign up to the local Planet Fitness for a once-off fee of R850. All I have to do is go there at least twice a month and Discovery will do the rest. I reckon that's doable and suppose that I need to keep in shape considering I'll be doing the dating thing at some point later this year.

Meeting up with a couple of my girl friends for a natter tomorrow morning, which I'm looking forward to and in the afternoon I'm off to see my lawyer again to move things forward. So a busy Friday overall. And I might just try and get to the gym somewhere along the way too... ahem...

I must say, I'm looking forward to the stormy weather they're forecasting for the Cape. I love that kind of weather where you just stay indoors and keep yourself all tucked up. Mind you, I have a few things on this weekend, so not too sure whether the whole tucked up idea is quite so realistic.

Anyway, just wanted to say a quick thanks to the readers who commented on my previous post. As for me snogging someone, I'm not really sure I'd do that (not in public anyway). I must say, even though things are moving along, I think I might feel bad about it - maybe not, who knows, but I suppose good judgment tells me not to, but I totally agree with both your opinions.

Madge

Twitter virgin

I've been twittering for a few weeks now, but I've just realized that I'm still a Twit-Virgin when I clicked on the link for @MadgesLife and found messages from others that I'd never even seen.

The one message made me think. It asked whether I'd kissed any pigs lately. The reality is that I haven't really kissed pigs or frogs or ANYONE lately and it's something that I'm really starting to miss. I'm a very loving and tactile person and at the moment I think I'm killing my kids with the overflow of affection.

I must say, I'm really missing it. STBEH wasn't exactly the most tactile of people, but at least I could give him a cuddle or a hug and he would reciprocate, which at least made me feel loved in some kind of way - and now there's nothing. I suppose this all makes me want to push for this divorce to get done even quicker so I can perhaps go out and at least get a good old fashioned snog! Will I be cheating if I snog someone before the divorce is over?

Maybe it's just the fact that I've not felt loved for such a long time that it's finally catching up with me. Well, I suppose not finally, but certainly now that uhmmm, the physical side of things... is off the menu (and has been since January I might add) that I'm just feeling a little needy as far as that's concerned.

I'm sure I'll survive, but it still doesn't take away the desire and basic human need.

Bring on singledom!!!

Madge

A little bit more about Madge - Wine

Well, as it turns out, things on the home front have been quite calm of late, which is why I've mainly been posting all kinds of silly things about elephants and all the rest. So, I thought I'd tell you a little bit more about what I'm into (no, I don't know you well enough to tell you the kinky stuff ;-)), so I thought I'd start with my taste in wine.

I won't go into too much detail as this will bore some of you, but thought I'd mention my top 5 local wine farms that I enjoy visiting for a nice day of tasting!

So, I'll start with Slaley. My sister was the one who absolutely raved about them a few years ago, so when the time came to organize another trip to Stellenbosch, Slaley was first on the list and boy, we weren't disappointed. Their reds are definitely at the top of the list, in particular the Shiraz.

Then, situated in the most stunning location with the most beautiful views along Hel's Hoogte in Stellenbosch, there's Thelema. Again, their reds are to die for and may I suggest that you stop for the MOST AMAZING lunch at their neighboring farm Tokara. Tokara's wines are beautiful too, but for me the Tokara Restaurant is one of the best with the most interesting and 'different' menu you've seen in a long time. It reminds me of a certain trip to the South of France for a photo shoot, the good food and scenery. The view over the Stellenbosch valley is out of this world, but do remember to book. Any man will do well to take me here...

Thirdly I'd like to recommend something a little more local in the Durbanville Wine Valley by the name of Diemersdal. Not to be confused with the equally stunning Diemersfontein, situated near Wellington. Diemersdal have a beautiful selection of both white and red wines and my favorite is their Private Collection red. While mentioning Diemersfontein, their stunning chocolatey Pinotage is scrumptious and great with a nice bit of red meat.

My fourth stop would have to be L'Ormarins just outside Franschhoek. One of the many Antonij Rupert farms, this one is my favorite. When visiting, you leave your car at a designated point and are driven up to the tasting cellar in a golf cart. The beautiful nude sculpture that greets you sets the tone and inside the tasting room the walls are covered in original, numbered Pierneefs. The whole range of wine is excellent and on my last visit their Port blew me away. I can't wait for winter to set in nicely before opening that baby up.

Lastly, I had to mention a fizz-producing farm and though many of you might think that Haute Cabriere and their Pierre Jourdan would top the list, there's also Pongraz, which many people don't know, is produced by J.C.le Roux. But I'd like to mention Twee Jonge Gezellen who produces the Krone range of bubbly. All made in the Cap Classique style (the original style in which proper champagne is made in France). They are on a beautiful estate in Tulbach and while you're out that way, do yourself a favour and stop by their neighbor Saronsberg for some more stunning red wine. They've won numerous awards with their range and it is truly amazing to think that wine of such a high caliber comes from the Tulbach valley.

Well, that's some of my favorites, but there are so many more, as you can imagine. I could go on about it for ages and would love to go into more detail, so will definitely do more wine chats over time.

Madge

What is it about elephants

I think I might have mentioned this before, but my favorite animal is the Lion. I find them majestic and intriguing and in the few lucky experiences I've had to see these wonderful animals in the wild, I've been truly humbled.

However if you look back at one of my older posts about an elephant it does make me realize how great these animals are too. Their sheer size and calm appearance don't really go together, especially when you see them standing in the sun, flapping their ears and nurturing their calves. The reality is that these are in fact very fierce animals and one should be very careful of them, so next time you encounter one in your street, beware!

Anyway, I got this from a friend recently and had to share it with you:

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant!!!!!!!!

Whaaaaaahahahaha!

Anyway, some of you might have seen it already, but it did tickle me. In fact, as I started to read it, I was reminded of the video of the 2 young men who raised a lion cub and then returned years later. Check it out:

I remember getting this at work one day. I cried my eyes out! Really sweet!

Well, I've got to get on with things again, so *said in my best Arnie impersonators voice* "I'll be back"!

Cherio xx

Gaviscon ad

Good morning all! The sun is still shining in Cape Town albeit with a forecast maximum of a mere 20 degrees, I'm still lovin' it.

I got an email from my best buddy in London with this ad. Now, I've seen the ad, but can't actually remember the line being quite as they've put it here, so reckon it's merely a spoof, but a good one nonetheless, so check this out for a good chuckle of the day:

I've tried to upload this to be bigger on the blog page, but having trouble, so please double click on it to see the full image and most importantly read the line at the end...

Love it!

Madge x

Boys will be boys!

Got this pic from a good friend and simply had to share it with you. Just goes to show that nature has a mind of it's own and boys, well, they'll always be boys!

Just imagine sitting on the back of this huge elephant and suddenly you get jilted upwards in a moment of ecstacy. I would probably wet myself!

Before I sign off a quick joke, also sent in by a good friend:

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I
couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret
for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of
whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he said.

Madge x

Marvellous Monday Morning

Sorry I didn't get round to posting yesterday, but I had a rather full day, which is a good thing! The Fiery One picked the kids and I up mid-morning and off we trundled to my Mom for Mothers Day lunch. Mom outdid herself yet again with an outstanding meal. Real 'boerekos'!

I had a bit of a rest when the kids had their nap as I had a bad night's sleep the night before, but that's a whole other story.

Anyway, from there popped round to a friend's and we had a couple of drinks while watching the most beautiful sunset before going to the One and Only hotel at the Waterfront. I must say, it's a very nice hotel and all very impressive, but I was a little disappointed in a few things. The first I must say is having drinks in their main lobby area, the waiters and waitresses were wearing these awful green jackets that looked ill-fitting and more appropriate for rubbish bin collectors. Secondly, we asked for some snacks to nibble on - NOTHING! The best they came up with is a cheese platter (which was very nice) and some miniscule fish cakes which really could've only fed a gold-fish...

Obviously, I don't know what the rooms are like, and it looks like the outside areas can be nice on a balmy summer evening, but the inside isn't nearly as plush and warm as you'd imagine it to be. The only other positive, and this is really going to surprise many of you, considering that between us we had 5 cocktails, the cheese platter and fishy thingy's the total bill came to about R270! Hats off to the guys at the One and Only hotel there for not making everything so totally unaffordable for our Rand earning South Africans. Liked the valet parking too, very nice.

On another note, thanks to all of you out there who are reading on a daily basis and supporting me with comments of encouragement. It really means a lot to me and don't worry, I'll keep posting. Sorry I've been a bit crap these last couple of days!

Oh yeah, and a last note, turns out STBEH knows about TITL, so "Hi!" to yet another reader, who can maybe take something out of this for future use!

Madge xx

Sunny Saturday

What a glorious day! And I couldn't have started it on a better note than a back, neck and shoulder massage and pedicure. God a voucher for my birthday in December and only using it now. Well worth saving it. Just like a good bottle of red wine that you've been saving patiently in the rack only to be opened on a special occasion and appreciate leaving it just a little while longer rather than crack the cork on a pissed up evening when all the cheap stuff is finished and you're on a roll!

That was something that always really pissed me off. We'd have a braai with friends and then when everyone is really wasted, STBEH would open a really expensive bottle of something, whether whiskey or wine that has been saved or a beautiful bottle of French champagne that I would've rather saved for a celebration of sorts.

It's not that I'm stingy, in fact I love sharing with close friends, but what annoys me is when everyone is so wasted, they don't really care or appreciate it and then the good stuff gets hauled out.

Anyway, went to a kids party this afternoon and just going to chill out at home tonight after making it crystal clear that a romantic dinner was NOT going to happen. I had the opportunity to tell STBEH exactly how much his latest efforts and gifts have upset and angered me. He is of the opinion that he has learnt his lesson and changed. I, on the other hand, am not convinced.

The good thing is that the important conversation has been had and he has agreed to my settlement demands (they are VERY fair). So, this week I'll get my solicitor to draw up the agreement and get the show on the road!

It's amazing how many women I know have been coming to me and saying how much they admire my strength to do what I'm doing as it is something they've wanted to do for some time, but couldn't summon up the courage for whatever reason. I don't want to be that woman who regrets not doing something and looks back at an unhappy life. I think I have the best years of my life ahead of me and intend to make the most of it!

Today again, just a random woman in the Fruit and Veg market started talking to me and told me that getting divorced was the best thing she ever did. Life is just too short!!!

Anyway, my wine is calling. I think if tomorrow afternoon is as stunning as tonight, Caprice will be a pearler, so might just do the whole sunset thing...

M x

Next up: The Romantic Dinner

I could feel it coming yesterday... that sore, scratchy feeling in the back of your throat, dodgy headache and stiff neck started at some point in the morning with an annoying sniffle. Today it is here for good and I feel like poo. If it's not the one thing, then it's another.

At least I'm at home and don't have to infect all the people at work. While I'm on the subject, I just wanted to do a quick shout-out to the homies, Teddy Bear, Crazy Chick, The Poker Pro, The Body Builder, The Writer and Music Man - you all know who you are. There are a few others too, I'm thinking of you all!

Oh, so last night STBEH tells me to keep Saturday night free. "Why?" I asked. "We're going out", he replies. My next question comes warily, "Where?". "We're going out to dinner. I've organised a baby sitter and booked a table". My heart sinks. "I don't think so", I say, feeling both annoyed and sad.

Do you know that he has NEVER since the kids were born arranged dinner out for us or booked a sitter and table without me initiating it and at least booking a babysitter if not the table too! Why now all of a sudden when the thing I'd least like to do is have a nice romantic dinner - with him, that is...

I must say it's all highly frustrating. He has been trying to change my mind, but the reality is that he's making it all worse for himself.

Anyway, have a couple of things happening this weekend, which is nice. Also, looking forward to spending some time with my Mom and The Fiery One on Sunday. The three of us are having Mother's Day lunch. Guys, if you have a partner and kids, no matter how young, please don't forget to just acknowledge their hard work as a mother on this day. I never get that acknowledgement and have been disappointed year after year. Fortunately this year I won't be disappointed, because for once I'm not thinking, "Maybe this year he'll remember and get something nice from the kids like a hand made card or breakfast in bed". If you don't expect or hope for it, you can't be let down. Simple.

Hope you all have a good weekend and that the sunny weather that's forecast for this weekend gets you all out and about and enjoying al that Cape Town (and wherever it is you are) has to offer.

Madge x

Big decisions

Well, I've certainly had a couple of rather interesting and emotionally testing days. I've had to make a very big decision that will have a major impact on my life, but one I will use to my advantage nonetheless. The thing is that I try to see the positive side in any negatives that are thrown at me and deal with things in a way that makes me see the silver lining and so I will most definitely turn this situation into something great.

Fortunately for me I don't dwell on things for long and once I make an educated decision I stick with it. I certainly know it's not the decision that many other people would've taken if they were given the choice, but pride is very important. Don't let pride get in your way though and know when to be humble, but also don't let life and it's obstacles get you down. Sometimes life can be unfair, but there's always a yin/yang situation and what goes around most definitely comes around. Walk with your head held high and if you believe in your heart of hearts that you are good and right, then no one can take that away from you.

Anyway, these things make you stronger over time and make a better person of you. This all reminds me why the 'little' people in life will always stay little if they keep trying to bring those down who are bigger and better (on an emotional level) than them. They might feel that they have had major achievements by telling the teacher that someone has passed on cheat notes in an exam when it was in fact a love letter during normal class time or when a mediocre artist slags off his superior counterpart of being unoriginal when he's merely being jealous of their outstanding work and realising that his own works will never amount to anything more than proverbial stick-men. Though art is in the eye of the beholder, each piece still carries some level of charisma and this is an attribute that not many people have in this life of ours.

There's not a lot else I have to say today as I'm in a weird frame of mind (as you can probably tell from the above ramblings), but I did want to drop you all a line to let you know what's happening in this life.

Madge xx

The Game Plan

Well, I'm back in the hot seat at Gambling HQ today, though I must say it's a bit of a struggle as I'm not quite on form yet, but in a way I'm glad I came in today as there is just soooo much shit that needs to be done! Yes, it's nice to feel needed, but after briefly scanning all of my emails to see what's been happening and having a quick catch-up session with my team about what's NOT been happening, I was a bit frustrated to say the least...

Anyway, whilst briefly going online last night to check on something my colleague sent through, I was rudely interrupted by my brother-in-law from the UK on Skype, so I answered the call and since there's no animosity between us (well, there wasn't) it all started off rather friendly.

However, after being told on several occasions that I was merely being stubborn and was merely in an angry place, but to give it a few months for STBEH to prove that he has changed, because apparently he has now finally learnt his lesson and is a changed man. What a load of BOLLOCKS!!!

Oh and I shouldn't forget that I need to think of the kids and do what's right for them! Like I would put my kids in a bad position?!?!?! What dearest brother-in-law doesn't know is that he has just angered me even more and made me want to get this over and done with even quicker than before.

But, wait for it, there's a game plan. The idea is that he should be nice to me, give me lots of space and show me how extremely wonderful he is not only to me, but also with the kids so as to soften me up and change my mind over time. Yes, honestly, now it's all making sense. I've almost had more gifts from him in the last few weeks than I've had throughout our entire time together! He wanted to massage my feet the other night. I almost died!

So, this has brought me to the question of what will I do if STBEH doesn't want to agree to the divorce?? I suppose this is always a possibility and I shouldn't disregard it. Considering we're sleeping in separate bedrooms and effectively living separate lives, does it mean we're separated? And what if I meet someone interesting in the meantime and one thing leads to another (as they do), will it be wrong? A girl has needs, you know!

Many questions, please feel free to give me your honest opinions on these matters below (you don't need to be registered).

The pain... and I'm not referring to my aching chest this time!

Madge

Why only now?

Well, I'm feeling a lot better already, but have taken the executive decision of staying home today just to be sure that I'm strong enough again to deal with a normal work day at Gambling HQ tomorrow rather than push myself to go in and collapse in a heap half way through the day. This is a major decision for me as I've said before, I have this belief in the back of my head that I used to be Wonder Woman in a previous life.

Anyway, I know I've mentioned about STBEH being my personal nurse running himself into a state to tend to my every need... So, yesterday, he pops out to Pick 'n Pay to pick up a few essentials only to return with a couple of magazines and a gift bag full of skin care products from body scrub to hand lotion and cleanser to moisturizer.

Now, why does he do this now, when it actually means NOTHING to me? Yes, it's a sweet gesture, but it in fact grates me so much that he suddenly manages to do something thoughtful for me after all this time when I really don't care and certainly don't want it. He's been so lucky - I'm not one who demands big or expensive gifts, or any gifts at all, but there are other inexpensive and more rewarding ways of showing someone you love them and he couldn't even manage these even though I kept reminding him of ways to do so.

I can't tell you how it all upset me yesterday. I was just sitting there in bed crying my eyes out at the fact that it was all in vain, wishing that I could somehow care and feel something, but the emotions just wouldn't come over me. Instead I felt anger and resentment.

The thing is it just doesn't come naturally to him and though he's doing all of this now I know that if I were to change my mind and give him one last chance, which I won't, don't worry, it would all fade away into obscurity within a short period of time.

All I can hope for, for his sake, is that he takes what he's learnt from this experience with me and use it to impress and keep someone new happy.

Anyway, I think I'm going to broach the important discussion with him this morning, though I'm not entirely convinced I have the energy for it. Thing is he's picked up a new contract, so is flying up to Jo'burg tomorrow, albeit just for the day, so that's another day gone and it's eating me alive. I just want to get to a point where we've agreed the important matters and I can go to my lawyer to set out an agreement.

Let's see how it goes today, but I'll be sure to let you all know how things progress.

Cherio x

Old friends

With all of the new technologies at our disposal and the invention of social internet sites such as Facebook and Twitter, we have opened ourselves up to a whole new world of networking and meeting up with people who we lost contact with oh so many years ago and are now "Friending" us at every corner.

Now, I must say, I've been one of the more conservative friend acceptors around compared to others who have hundreds and am not generally afraid to ignore a friend request from some chick who I thought was exceptionally dull at school and is quite likely still just as flipping dull now or a guy who played not only in the first rugby team, but also all the gullible girlies who thought that he loved them... There are more, but are simply not even worth the mention.

But now and again you get a friend request from  someone who's memory brings a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart when you conjure up the fond memories of getting up to mischief together and recently I had just that request from a lovely girl, The Artist. Finally, after not seeing each other for about 12 years, we finally met up again yesterday after she contacted me and we established that we only live about 30 minutes from each other.

I must say, I wouldn't have recognised her if I passed her in the street, but thought she looked great. We spent the afternoon reminiscing about our school days and people we knew then. It makes you think how you've come along in life and what you've done with the time that has passed and with everything else that's happening in my life right now gave me a lot to reflect on. 

I wonder how she sees me now and how it compares with the person she knew then. At the time I was dating a guy, Psycho Boyfriend, who had a major effect on me (as can easily happen at the age of 17). 

Anyway, as for the pneumonia, I'm still not on form at all, so have decided to call in sick today and get the necessary rest. I think I'm going to do a little bit of writing in bed today and get my head straight again. Of course, the important conversation I was due to have with STBEH never happened as I simply didn't have the physical strength for it, but it is imminent, so I'll be keeping you up to date. 

Of course, my self-appointed personal male nurse is still at it and I actually asked him last night why he was being so nice to me? He didn't reply, but we all know the answer to that one already, don't we?! 

On that note, let me get my arse back into bed and keep warm. I'm really annoyed that he has the TV in his bedroom on days like this!

Madge

No more 'Family' outings!

For some reason this morning I got it into my head that I was feeling much better from my pneumonia - BIG mistake! So, I suggested taking the kids to the aquarium - by myself!!!

Needless to say, next thing I had STBEH wanting to join us... I said that this wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind, so this is the conversation that ensued:

Me: Well, I don't really fancy that.
STBEH: Why not? We're still a family, you know.

Me: Not in my mind.
STBEH: OK, so you can walk with Miss Muffet and I'll walk with Prince Charming.

Me: Yeah right, that'll really work out.
STBEH: And we don't have to talk.

Me: You really don't get this, do you??
STBEH: Well I don't see why you need to be this difficult!

Me: And I don't see why you have to be so f*cking blind to what is happening!!
STBEH: Mumble-something-I-cant-work-out-and-don't-give-a-fuck-if-I-could...

Anyway, the result was that I dropped them at the aquarium and went off to buy something I needed when I realised that I was in fact about to collapse from being unwell. Note to self: Pneumonia is serious, so don't overdo it!!!

I'm one of those women who believes she was, in fact, Wonder Woman in a previous life. 2nd Note to self: You're just a plain human being, nothing extra-normal. Get over it, bitch!!!

Reality is I don't have her boobs. I should've worked it out from that in the first place...

I was just about to post this and then remembered another rant I simply had to share...

One would think that being together for 7 years would mean that the other party would know what you like, such as your favorite chocolates, what you like to order from KFC, etc??? Or am I really missing something here???

This just goes to show EXACTLY how little attention STBEH has been giving to MY very basic needs. Yesterday he went to pick up some KFC as a 'surprise', obviously saving me (and him) the job of cooking. So, if you want to do this, then you get someone what they REALLY like?! Oh, and I got flowers and a box of chocolates. This is all very out of the ordinary...

Phew! Now I've got all of that sorted and off my chest, I feel I can breathe much better already!

Madge

Staying in bed...bliss

It all started with intermittent chest pains that gradually got worse as the day progressed yesterday and by mid afternoon I was in serious pain and really not coping. So, after making several phone calls to GP's who had either taken the afternoon off for an extended weekend or alternatively were fully booked, I rocked up at the local hospital to be checked out.

I was actually feeling so bad, The Fiery One had to drive me there. Anyway, a short while later I leave with the news that I have got pneumonia, to stay in bed and rest! Aaargh! Perfect! This is how I get to spend the long weekend.

On the one hand it's nice to just be able to have a legitimate excuse to stay in bed and rest, but the flip-side is that STBEH is taking this opportunity to be nurse, carer, childminder and cook. Now while you may think this is sweet, it's actually extremely agitating as I truly believes he thinks he can now prove to me just how wonderful he is. I don't think I've ever seen him be so attentive and patient with me and the kids. Isn't it amazing how a divorce can either bring out the best or the worst in people?? In my case I'm getting both sides depending on whether I'm dealing with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

So while you all enjoy the long weekend think of me stuck in bed. I will be catching up on some reading, so not all is lost, but hope that I regain some strength before the end of the weekend to have yet another serious and important divorce discussion so as to chivvy things along again! Wish me luck!

Madge