Feeling strangely fine

I don't know why, but despite the dark and rainy weather today, I'm feeling somewhat euphoric today. I didn't have a particularly good night's sleep, but after dropping Miss Muffet off at school this morning I just suddenly felt really good. Maybe that's a sign of things to come today?!

Looking at the heading to this post, I was reminded of the band Semisonic and their album entitled 'Feeling Strangely Fine' and came across this video done to one of my favorite tracks on the album, 'Secret Smile'. Love it!


Yesterday when I got home I noticed that Prince Charming had a 'bloodshot' eye and a little while later saw that it was indeed infected, so I've kept him home from school as pink-eye is highly infectious and somehow I don't think his teacher or the other moms from school will appreciate it if he passed it on to their little sh.. darlings...

He's very excited because he's going to spend the night with The Fiery One on The Farm and she's taking him horse riding tomorrow morning at a neighboring farm where they have the most beautiful Arabian horses. I'm just hoping that the weather allows it, but looking at the forecast it should be sunny again for the weekend. Yay!

This weekend is fairly busy for me too. I'm going to get to spend some quality time with Miss Muffet tonight and tomorrow morning, then she's going to stay with my Mom tomorrow night as I have a christening to go to on Sunday morning and simply won't be able to get her to sit still in a church and then going with Mom to some friends for a lunch time braai, which should be fun.

Other than that I'm toying with the idea of going to the Mad Hatters Tea Party tonight at the Old Biscuit Mill. I can take Miss Muffet along as it shouldn't be late (especially if I go early), but I'm going to see if I can rally a friend or two as I don't want to go on my own.

And that is my plan. Have to try and cut PC's mop before he goes to The Farm too.

Cheers!

Madge

Thursday already?!

Wow! For some reason this week has really raced by. I suppose I've been fairly busy and that helps. The cold wintery weather is back though, but I'm hoping not for long. I must say, this winter hasn't been too bad overall. It seems as if it has been a lot drier than last year and although it has been freezing cold at times, there have been some corkers in between, which makes a difference to the overall winter feel.

I'm in a much better place today compared to yesterday, mainly because I had a bit of time in the house without STBEH here. He went out last night, which is good. Not only does it give me some time to be chilled in the house with the kids, but also for him to get out, socialise and unwind, which I'm positive he needs too.

Got this joke from The Writer recently and thought I'd share it:

A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,

"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day
he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE."

He asked "What"??????

She said "This morning your best friend James suddenly died."

Enjoy your Phuza Thursday peeps!

Madge

Worn out

Yes, I am. After yet another onslaught last night from STBEH, I'm just feeling that numbness again. I honestly don't know what to say anymore to get my message across. It just seems pointless to say anything at all, so I let him say his thing and cry/shout or whatever it is that he wants to do and sit there and stare into the distance.

It's been almost four months since I told him that I wanted the divorce and not once in this time have I given him any reason to believe that I've changed my mind, yet he still believes that he stands a chance of winning me back even with all of his contradictory behaviour throughout this time.

I just don't know anymore. Furthermore it turns out he's been snooping through my stuff, which just pissed me off. Now, just because he found lyrics I'd written about finding love again, I'm apparently seeing someone... Aaaaargh! The PAIN!!

Thing is that I've met a couple of people who I'd like to date and have asked me out, but I simply can't do anything until STBEH has signed the dotted line, because I know for sure that he will inevitably involve anyone into the situation and obviously don't think it's fair on these people, so in the meantime I just have to sit tight. Hell, I've waited this long, what harm will a few more weeks do, eh?

As I tried to explain to him, I'm looking to my future. I'm thinking about the house I want to live in and how I want to decorate it, I'm hoping to find love again and that someone special is out there waiting for me.

Fortunately for me I know that I'm capable of finding my own happiness. I don't need someone else to provide it to me and I sure as hell don't need anyone to take it away from me, nor will I allow it!

Madge

Meetings, meetings

All day long. Breakfast meeting, lunch meeting and afternoon tea meeting, so I thought I'd quickly come and say hi! My cold is much better today, so I can deal with life again. No more movement with regards to matters at home, so I'll just hang in there, patiently.

So, I'm afraid, since that is all I have to say today, I'll leave you with a funny:

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Oh how we laugh!!

Madge x

Sniff-sniff

After spending most of the day in bed yesterday, I'm feeling a fair bit better today, although still not quite on form. Fortunately it's just a silly head-cold which will pass in time. I'm even giving the gym a skip, which is probably the right thing to do.

This week is yet another busy one with lots happening and hopefully finalisation on the settlement matter. It would seem that we're 95% there, but the last sticking point is with regards to the actual maintenance, which STBEH had previously agreed to and now it seems he wants to pay less. The thing is that he's trying to spite me, but in turn he's affecting his children.

My maintenance request is EXTREMELY fair and can merely cover some of the children's expenses. Anyway, I've conceded on some of the points, but I'm afraid that there are certain things that I simply cannot let go. The reality is that the combined monthly maintenance figure for both of the kids is less than half of what he used to pay for his daughter from his first marriage 4 years ago!

Ok, I know that we lived in the UK then and that things are more expensive there, but only to an extent. Things cost what they cost and I just don't understand that he doesn't want to commit to his fair share of the kids' expenses.

Anyway, I'm hoping that this little rant will be irrelevant when I hear back from the lawyer and that he's realised that I'm merely being fair.

Well, I hope you all have a great week.

Madge

A great weekend, but now I'm ill

Which is probably better than getting that dreaded sore throat around Wednesday which ultimately means that you'll be at your worst by Saturday and your weekend is a non-event. It was my weekend off again with regards to the kids, so I went to stay with Mom on Friday just to get away.

On Saturday morning I did a fantastic publishing seminar hosted by New Voices Publishing and Perform! Marketing. I have to say it was an excellent morning and it has really helped me a lot with regards to knowing what to expect from the whole publishing process, the costs, timelines and expectations I should and shouldn't have.

In the afternoon I went to a braai/housewarming party of a friend and had a ball. I knew about 4 people there and enjoyed meeting some new folks who were all really nice and fun. Had a bit of a glitch later on when I turned a bend and hit a MASSIVE rock that was obviously put there by some stupid kids and burst my tyre. Fortunately it was just around the corner from my friends' house and I had a couple of people in the car with me, so a couple of the guys managed to sort it out for me - THANKS! However, to the little shits who put the rock there all I have to say is 'Karma'!

Today, however I've been feeling rather crap and before anyone says 'hangover', I can assure you it's not. I just wasn't in one of those drinking moods last night. Instead I definitely have a cold and am feeling a little sorry for myself, so have been in bed for most of the day and STBEH even made me a cup of green tea this afternoon. Funny thing is we've actually had a semi-kind of conversation today, although when I told him I was feeling crap and had a cold, he was questioning whether I was merely hung over instead and then when he asked me about what had happened to the car and I told him, I got a sideways look. At the end of the day I have no reason to lie to him, so he just needs to think what he wants, it makes absolutely no difference to me whatsoever.

This week should be good, I'm sure and I'm looking forward to what it holds in store. I hope your weekends and weeks ahead are great too.

Madge

Brrrrrrrrr...

After the glorious summer-like days of last weekend, the cold has returned again and as I'm sitting here eating my Greek yoghurt with honey, I know I'm typing away, but can't really feel my fingertips...

Firstly, apologies for not writing yesterday, but I was not in a very good place. I was busy in the morning with meetings and then at lunchtime I took Prince Charming to see a counselor and this just really upset me.

As it turns out, she really put my mind at ease with regards to how I'm handling all of this and said that I was doing the right thing. Yes, his little 'accidents' are a definite sign of stress, but she felt that it wasn't serious enough to end up having a whole lot of sessions with someone at this stage, however things might get worse when we eventually move out of the house and go our separate ways and we simply need to keep our eye on the situation. So, this morning I had a brief chat to his teacher at school to also let me know if she sees any changes in him.

What upset me though, was that the poor kids actually have to go through this. My parents got divorced when I was 8 and I went through a whole phase of denial. Fortunately my kids are much younger and will adapt quickly, but what frustrates me is the fact that they're just too small to even explain it to. PC doesn't even understand the concept of marriage, let alone divorce. Anyway, as the lady said, I'm dealing with it in the best way possible, so I just need to stick with it and the damage should be minimal.

I had a little surprise in the post this morning sent in by my bestest friend in London, the Project Manager. He told me that he'd sent me something and I've been waiting patiently for the SA postal service to deliver it and lo and behold, this morning when I checked the box, there it was!

It's the latest Freemasons album "Shakedown 2". I've already listened to a few tracks on disc 2 and it's seriously HOT! It takes me back to the days when we used to party hard at Fabric on the famous DTPM Sundays or going to Fire under Vauxhall Station where we used to loooove the DIRTY music (said in a very low and raspy voice and referring to the deep base sounds that you feel thumping in your heart - you know what I mean...)! Not to forget the evenings spent at The Cross in Kings Cross (which has since closed) and Salvation, Later and not to forget Orange!

Those in the know would recognise all of these club nights as the gay nights out and in my opinion they were the best out there! For any girl it's the best place to go to avoid being hassled by some idiot who's drunk and simply wants to jump you. The guys who chat to you are doing so, because they want to and not because of any other alterior motives they may have. Boy, how I miss those days!!

Thanks PM for bringing back the memories xxx

Madge